When you can't see what God needs you to see, He will move you to a place where you can see. Sometimes that is far away where you can look from afar and see clearly what was surrounding you. Sometimes you see it and praise Him that you are no longer there! Sometimes you see it, and beg Him to give it back. It's like the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, showing you things you didn't, couldn't, wouldn't see before. If you find yourself complaining a lot, my suggestion would be to take a step back and try to gain some perspective yourself. You can move yourself around the block, God is likely to move you much farther! And if He brings you back, He might leave you with a permanent little reminder.
I used to think my life was hard. I was a stay at home mom with three little boys ages 8, 6, and 4. Two were in Cub Scouts. I was a Den Leader. My husband had a great job but worked a lot of hours so the kids were all my responsibility, 95% of the time. Two were in school, one was in half-day, which required 20 trips to the school a day. (it seemed) I complained about sitting in a line of cars to drop the off, driving to the school 3 times a day and dealing with school traffic. I complained about how loud they were when they all got in the van after school. I complained about how hard it was to get them up and ready every morning. I was usually totally frazzled by the time I got them to school. I complained about grocery shopping, especially if I had to take them with me. I complained about trying to get dinner ready on time on Wednesday nights and on Cub Scout nights. I complained about having to coordinate who went where in order to get everyone where they needed to be. I complained about class parties and having to get to three of them, sometimes needing to be two places at one time, and all the craziness and chaos that was present at those class parties. I envied my husband who got to waltz out the door every morning at 7:30 and leave me to the kids, the dogs, the craziness, who would work all day and crash in the chair when he got home to a clean house, dinner cooked. (most nights) He had it easy! I worked so hard and he just got to escape it all every day.
Then everything changed. He lost his job and it took about year before we decided I would go back to work. When they time came I was ready for the change. I was ready to waltz out of the door at 7:30 and "leave him to it". It was great! (at first) And then I started to miss them. I missed the chattiness in the van on the way home from school. I missed the quiet moments I had sitting in the van reading, waiting for them to get out of school. I missed the excitement of mornings. I missed every single chaotic second of being home with my children. I was forgetting things: school parties, parent teacher meetings. They had stopped even mentioning things to me because they knew I wouldn't be able to come, anyway. Mostly, I missed knowing my kids. I yearned for my home, my hearth, my family, for all I ever took for granted. Words can't explain it. I know that even my best effort at writing this is not going to convince you, if you are living your dream of being home with you kids, (or whatever your dream may be) that you need to cherish every single second. Because my perspective, is not your perspective. I can't give that to you through a BLOG.
The day after I lost my job,the kids were having all of their fall parties at school. I was so excited that I was going to be able to go! The youngest was the first to ask me. He was so excited that I would not be at work. My 8 year old, didn't even mention his to me. I scoured my emails to find the one from his teacher that said what time. I stood outside my youngest one's class room waiting for them to come back in from recess. Although he invited me, he wasn't really looking for me to be there. When he looked up and saw me, the joy that lit his eyes as he ran to hug me, melted my heart. Through his clothes and mine I could feel his heart pounding with pure excitement. How could I ever, EVER have wished that away? My older son's face lit up in total surprise when I walked into his classroom. He said "Mom! I didn't even tell you I was having a party!" So, see it was on purpose.
So what I am doing with my brand new perspective? How about what I'm NOT doing. I'm NOT complaining about housework, kid noise, class parties, or any such thing. I'm NOT taking a minute of time with them for granted. Ironically, it actually is harder now. I now have a chronic illness that makes every day a little more challenging. Is that a punishment? Or is a reminder to remember, still, what I used to have? I praise God for the hours of the day that I have the physical energy to accomplish what few homemaker acts I am able to preform. It has slowed me way down. But that's a blessing! God's miracle of perspective will change the rest of my life. To seize every single moment of the things surrounding me.
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